Pandemia of Artificial Machinery

Steins;Gate Drama CD Pandemia of Artificial Machinery (人工械機のパンデミア Jinkoukaiki no Pandemia?) is a Drama CD released on January 25, 2013 as part of the limited edition release of Pandora of Eternal Return.

Tracks

 * 1. Don Giovanni
 * 2. Die Zauberflöte
 * 3. Requiem
 * 4. Cosi fan tutte

Preview
In which the Super Hacker's dreams come true, and the Mad Scientist Hououin Kyouma hatches a dastardly plan. But who will win?



Plot
Don Giovanni Daru is working on the computer when Maho asks to talk with him. After checking to make sure no one else is around, she asks him if he is seeing anyone and if there is anyone he likes. Upon hearing that he does not have anyone, she starts laughing cutely. When pressed, she finally confesses that ever since she first saw Hashida Itaru she has liked him very, very much! He likes her confession so much that he asks her to repeat it. When she starts to, Kurisu barges in shouting for her to stop. Kurisu demands to know what she is doing all of the sudden. She can hardly believe that Maho would betray her… because she loves Hashida as well!

Mayuri and Luka enter the lab to find Daru playing on the computer. They are surprised to see Kurisu and Maho on screen just as the two declare themselves love rivals. Real Mayuri is even more surprised to see herself run in on screen and declare that she loves Daru as well. Luka is overwhelmingly flustered with embarrassment as virtual Mayuri flat-out tells Daru, "Mayushii loves you very much, Daru-kyun!" However, then Luka appears on screen as well, asking if he is no good. Real Luka is on the verge of tears, but Faris shows up on screen to declare herself as well. A second later real Faris, Moeka, and Suzuha enter the lab. They all watch virtual Faris, Suzuha, and Moeka declare their love as well.

Real Moeka starts typing furiously on her cellphone. As they start making more noise amongst themselves, even displaying the type of behavior Daru would normally be riveted by, he calls for quiet as he is at a very important point and the other lab members disperse to go eat snacks and drink tea in the living area.

Virtual Maho and Kurisu demand for Daru to choose one of them. Unable to choose just one Daru chooses to have them all, when real Kurisu enters the lab and jars his brain for being a pervert.

Die Zauberflöte Apparently Daru had not really registered that the others had come in, and Kurisu is exasperated that they did not stop Daru as they set out tea and snacks. Suzuha is happy because it is the first time she gets to try tea.

Mayuri asks Daru what that was that he was playing. Daru tells them that earlier he found something interesting in the computer so he was messing around with that. Kurisu, realizing what that something must be, rushes to the computer to find that Maho had installed a copy of Amadeus on the Lab's computer. When asked by the others she explains that it is the A.I. she and Maho have been working on in the US.

When Mayuri wonders how come their voices are coming from that A.I., Kurisu explains that Amadeus is no ordinary A.I. She asks the others if the had let Maho record their brainwaves. Luka recalls that she had asked them for the sake of research samples some days before.

Kurisu exclaims in frustration at her absent senpai and explains to them that Amadeus's aim is to read human memories and more than that their thoughts as well to make an A.I. that is a complete copy of a person. Moeka is so impressed that she says, "Amazing," and Mayuri asks Kurisu to please speak in Japanese. Suzuha sums it up by querying that the A.I.'s are like persons with the exact same personality and way of thinking as them residing inside the computer. Kurisu tells her she has it right.

The labmems are impressed and Suzuha excitedly wonders about all the things Amadeus could be used for, like medicinal applications. Moeka thinks that it could be used for much more than that. Kurisu gravely agrees and tells them that that is why they have been so carefully conducting this research. She can hardly believe that Maho secretly brought it to Japan with her. …Kurisu pauses as she wonders what happened to the security code that protects the program. Daru admits that he fiddled with it a bit. Kurisu tears into him that that hacking is hardly "fiddling"! Daru self-satisfiedly hopes she won't underestimate him, leaving her growling in frustration. She says that it is at least a good thing that it was Hashida who discovered the program. At the most he would only use it for synthesizing speech in software like this. If a "certain someone" had found it he would certainly get up to something good-for-nothing with it. Mayuri asks if she is talking about Okarin, and Kurisu confirms. She tells them all that they definitely must not ever tell Okabe about Amadeus.

However, right as she is begging them, Okabe himself refuses! Poor, shocked Kurisu asks him how long he has been there. With a satisfied chuckle Okabe informs her that he has been there since she first started explaining about Amadeus. Kurisu is defeated as Okabe teasingly taunts his assistant for being a fool. She is a thousand years to early to keep something from him, this mad scientist Hououin Kyouma!

He condescendingly tells Kurisu about the greatness that could be achieved if the research of Amadeus were left to him. And for an assistant to keep such interesting research from him! She replies by asking just how many times she has to tell him that she is not his assistant for him to get it. He waves it aside and asks where "that loliko" is. When Suzuha asks him if he means Maho, Mayuri tells him that she is sight-seeing Tokyo today, even riding the Kiji Bus. Luka sounds thrilled by the idea of riding that bus, having never had the chance before. When Moeka confesses to have never ridden it either, Faris remarks that everyone should have taken this opportunity to ride it together in that case.

Okabe, frustrated with their meandering chit-chat, interrupts. He grumbles about how "Loliko" only just joined but she is skiving on their Round Table Meeting to go sight-seeing in Tokyo! Kurisu argues that it is fine. Maho came all the way from America, so doing that much should be fine. Okabe calls it a "Round Table Meeting", but they are not going to end up having a satisfactory discussion anyway.

Okabe protests about the vital importance of the Round Table Meetings to their lab and beyond, so thinking it was alright to go carefreely sight-seeing, is a problem! As such the loliko has earned a penalty. Daru with certain perverted intentions asks Okabe if he can be the one to think up the penalty. Okabe cuts him down quickly and with a smooth air sits down at the computer to have a look at Amadeus.

Kurisu asks him what he is trying to do as she tries to stop him. Okabe with an evil chuckle tells them that the penalty he has in mind is to hear that loliko's embarrassing secrets from the A.I.. Daru simultaneously finds Okabe a brute and admires him. Kurisu breaks in to tell them that if they try to use Amadeus for such a purpose she would not forgive them. When Okabe tries to persuade, she interrupts him to tell him that of course it is not allowable.

Okabe gives in. If she says no that much then it cannot be helped. He would give up on getting Loliko's information. Kurisu is surprised, having not expected him to listen. Okabe, however, says immediately that in exchange he would start up Assistant's A.I.! As he starts the program, Kurisu tries to stops him, telling him that he cannot do that! He cockily tells her that she should take her senpai's penalty, right? He "compliments" her on such beautiful love for her senpai. Kurisu is caught. Okabe teasingly asks her what's wrong. If she does not want to take the fall then he will start up Loliko's A.I...

Gritting her teeth in utter defeat at Okabe's hands, Kurisu apologizes aloud to her absent senpai for she is in an impossible situation. As he further instructs the computer, Okabe laughs at female friendship. Daru shivers with cries of "How frightening. Truly a fiend!"

With a dramatic voice Okabe declares that here they go. "Amadeus, start up!"

Requiem As Maho's Amadeus wakes up and asks where she is, Suzuha is impressed to hear Maho's voice. Okabe admits that it is certainly the loliko's voice but maintains a front of skepticism. Highhandedly, he asks the A.I. what her name is. In true Maho style she calls him out for being rude telling him that if he wants to know her name he should give his own first.

Okabe takes a hit and acknowledges that her argumentative sauciness is the same, but begins to introduce himself as Hououin Kyouma the Mad Scientist with his all usual flair. "Maho"'s highly unimpressed response riles Okabe and causes Kurisu to burst out laughing. "Maho" perks up when she hears Kurisu's voice and asks her if that "Hou-ou… something guy" is Kurisu's acquaintance and warns her about choosing who to hang out with. Kurisu affirms that lately she has been thinking that a lot as well.

Mayuri interrupts, asking Okabe if she can talk with "Maho" for awhile. Okabe encourages Mayuri to go ahead, on the condition that she asks beneficial questions. Mayuri introduces herself to "Maho". "Maho", sounding thrown off by yet another unusual acquaintance, pauses at trying to call her "Mayushii" and settles for "Shiina-san", instead. Mayuri asks her what her favorite foods are, and "Maho" tells her meat, especially rafute, which Moeka explains is an Okinawan pork dish. Mayuri tells her that her favorite food is Juicy Kaarage Number One and starts happily singing the fried chicken's jingle much to "Maho"'s awkward reaction.

When Mayuri asks if there is anything that Luka would like to ask "Maho", with much fluster Luka manages to get through introductions and ask "Maho" what type of sweets she likes. "Maho" thinks for a bit and replies that she likes chinsuko.

When Luka repeats the name slowly in question, it triggers Daru's disreputable attention, who gets Luka to repeat it until Kurisu stops them. Moeka explains that chinsuko is an Okinawan cookie made of flour, sugar, and lard, which was introduced to it by China. Originally only important nobles could eat it. When Faris impressedly remarks at how much Moeka knows, Moeka explains that she has been looking it all up on her phone. Faris tells her that next time they will hold an Okinawan Fair at the May Queen and asks her to come work there. However, Moeka politely tries to refuse.

Suzuha speaks up for her turn to ask questions. She introduces herself as “Amane Suzuha” and asks “Maho” what her favorite weapon is. Suzuha starts gushing about her own weapons of choice. When Suzuha finally gives “Maho” a chance to respond, a rather stunned “Maho” tells Suzuha that she doesn’t know much about weapons. This prompts Suzuha to ask about her preferred camouflage gear or bikes.

Okabe breaks in to ask what they all think they are doing. Suzuka puzzledly replies that they are asking beneficial questions. However, Okabe is of a completely different opinion to them as to the beneficialness of such questions. He calls on his “My favorite right arm” to show them how it’s done. Daru leaps in with enthusiasm and introduces himself as a “nice guy” complete with height and weight info and revealing that he is no good with airplanes. When “Maho” prompts him to ask his question, he asks for the details on the color of her panties.

Silence inevitably ensues, then “Maho” asks Kurisu to call a lawyer for her. Hashida protests that it was just a joke, but Kurisu warns him to be careful since her senior would seriously do it. Daru apologizes, and Okabe laments that Daru is unuseful as well.

Okabe decides that he will have to do the job himself. Faris asks him what he is about to embark on to which he states once again that he intends to hear about this Loliko’s weaknesses and from now on turn her into his “My favorite left arm”! Noting Kurisu’s dissatisfaction, he teases Kurisu about her still having a chance to become his favorite left arm instead. Kurisu just rolls with it and gives him a tired, sarcastic laugh in @chan lingo.

Okabe turns his attention back to “Maho” with the demand that she answer all of his questions from now on, and declares, “Here we go!”

Cosi fan tutte

Characters

 * Maho Hiyajo
 * Kurisu Makise
 * Rintaro Okabe
 * Mayuri Shiina
 * Itaru Hashida
 * Kiryuu Moeka
 * Luka Urushibara
 * Akiha Rumiho
 * Suzuha Amane